October 28, 2020

The Office Characters are the Worst

The Office has a strong cult-like following and has seemed to grow more popular since it came off the air and onto Netflix. The Office is popular because it is easy to watch whether you have it on in the background while you are entertaining friends or you are studying it closely as you have Office trivia scheduled. The show is easily quotable with entertaining stories and loving characters, but one thing we do not discuss enough is how awful the people actually are in The Office. The debate has been started in the Tailgate Society chatrooms, but let’s have you decide on who is the worst. 

Jim Halpert aka Jimbo, Jimothy, Big Tuna, James, Big Haircut, Tweedledumbass

Jim is the worst because he is the tormentor of The Office. How is Jim as a co-worker? He will skip your parties and happy hours, he will steal personal belongings from your house, he won’t dress up with you for Halloween, he will forget your birthday, he will forget your name (it’s Hank), he will find your secret script and make the whole office read from it. He will constantly disrupt the workplace with his pranks. Not just placing your personal items in Jello, but putting people’s desk in wrapping paper or in the restrooms, or placing your phone in the ceiling and calling it nonstop. He has various opportunities to step up and be a leader of the office, but constantly turns it down and acts like “he is way better than his co-workers.” But when he actually becomes a manager, he sucks. Honestly, how can you be a worse manager than Michael? He goes from being this laid-back lazy attitude to suddenly getting mad when people take long lunch breaks. Then when someone stands up to him, he moves their office into a closet. Also, don’t walk with Jim near a koi pond or he will let your ass fall in. Lastly, let’s talk about his relationship with women. Jim flirting with an engaged woman is weird and creepy. You can argue that “it takes two”, but too many times we see Pam reject him for crossing the line. And the way he breaks up with Karen and leaves her in NYC to rush to Scranton to ask out Pam, uh douche. But let’s not forget he also broke up with Katy after he hauled her to a work booze cruise in January. Jim is a person you don’t want as a friend, boyfriend, co-worker, or manager. 

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    Ryan Moon

Andy Bernard aka Nard Dog, Boner Champ, Puke, Funny Guy, Drew 

If there was ever a poster child for white male privilege, it is Andy Benard. Few have risen in the ranks despite failing so hard at everything they do. We all know an Andy in our lives. The annoying, quick-to-anger, inept, know-it-all, try-hard that just won’t take a hint or go away. He’s not good at his salesman job, yet is promoted to the manager position – which he also spectacularly fails at. He can’t seal the deal with Erin, Angela, or any other woman on the show – even going so far as to allow a stronger, better male (Dwight K. Schrute) to usurp him repeatedly. Andy’s fratboy antics were already wearing thin by season 5. When he wasn’t punching holes in walls, pining for reality tv stardom, singing horribly off-key renditions of songs, dressing like a J. Crew catalog reject, he’d be sure to let you know that he attended Cornell. Ever heard of it? Robert California best summed him up with, “I will not be blackmailed by some ineffectual, privileged, effete, soft-penis, debutante.”

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Tom Hyde

Michael Scott aka Prison Mike, Date Mike, Michael Scarn, Blind Guy McSquezy, Beyonce 

Michael promised a bunch of low-income black kids that he would pay for their college tuition and then reneged when it was time to do it which is maybe the worst thing a major character has done on a sitcom. And Michael had sex with the mother of one of his employees at her wedding. I understand Michael’s redeeming qualities, but his track record as a boss is tough.

          Arnold Woods

Pam Beesley aka Pan, Pamela, Pammy, Bart Simpson of Scranton, Pamster, Pamcakes

Of all jerk characters on The Office, Pam Beesly is the worst. Sure, she’s soft spoken and somewhat timid, but it’s a facade. She knew what she was doing when flirting with Jim while she was dating and then engaged to Roy. Just because Roy sucked as a boyfriend and fiance did not mean Pam could emotionally cheat on him. Roy lacked empathy and general care to build a long-lasting, solid relationship with Pam and she knew this, yet continued to be in a relationship with him. Obviously Roy was too self absorbed to realize his relationship with Pam was crap, but Pam was also too self absorbed to break up with him. She’d rather have the security of being with Roy while flirting with Jim. Then she has the audacity to be surprised when Jim professes his love for her! Come on now, Pamela! She very well knew that she had feelings for Jim, as we see with her behavior after he distances himself. When he comes back to Scranton all together, she’s just a little too happy to see him say she didn’t have feelings for him. And let’s be real, she ends up marrying and having children with Jim, obviously, she had feelings! 

I get it, Jim was significantly better to her than Roy. Despite his antics, he typically treated Pam well. She easily could have spent two seconds being introspective about her feelings to determine that she should dump Roy and be with Jim. Then she wouldn’t be one of the worst people on The Office because she would have behaved in a considerate way that doesn’t completely ignore other peoples’ feelings.

Emily Cornell

Chaplin
Ryan Moon
Ryan Moon 20 Articles
Staff Writer

Ryan is originally from Casey, Iowa but now resides in West Des Moines with his wife Haley and their two dogs Hilton and Stark. Want to get Ryan to rant for hours? Hand him bourbon and bring up the Game of Thrones ending, complain about millennials, mention Iowa State heartaches or politics.

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