November 18, 2019

13 Duos Worse Than Harden And Russ

There have been worse duos than the ones where both All-Stars constantly needed the ball.

Russ and James are best friends off the court, but can they be harmonious on the court?

The Houston Rockets and Oklahoma City Thunder swapped Chris Paul and Russell Westbrook. Thankfully the Woj bomb didn’t drop after midnight on a Friday this time.

Oklahoma City also added to their massive collection of first-round picks. They’ll essentially have 15 picks from 2020 to 2026.

As a Houston Rockets fan, I’m cautiously optimistic about a Westbrook and Harden pairing. I’m trying to talk myself into this, and that Harden will actually listen to Russ because they’re really friends. Russ is a well-known family man, so maybe he can curb some of Harden’s late nights and strip club proclivities, too.

Each of the first-round picks has 1-4 protections on them, and Chris Paul’s schtick was starting to become a little too much. These are all positives for me.

You can only have so many guys on your team flopping for foul calls. Defending James Harden’s flopping is time-consuming enough.

It nags me the most that CP3’s contract was unbearable, and trading that away for one that is even richer and longer will probably keep me up a few nights. At least Russ plays more than 50 games in a season and still makes All-Star teams…

To try and convince myself that it could be worse, I’m reminding myself of 13 (Harden’s #13 + Russ’ #0=13) duos that I’ve tried to talk myself into before.

Alcohol and Texting

It always seems like a great idea until it isn’t.

Red Bull and Vodka

The resulting drunk is always just way too much energy, and the morning after is even worse.

Ashton Kutcher and Jon Cryer on Two and a Half Men

Kutcher was hotter and richer, but he didn’t have Sheen’s juice.

Adam Sandler and Any of His On-Screen Female Partners

Sandler’s most believable love interest is Kevin James in I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry. In what world do Sandler and Selma Hayek make sense?

Chipotle and Netflix ‘N Chill

Two things that can make a great night, but two things that should be enjoyed on separate evenings.

Republicans and Democrats

When has a politician ever delivered?

Boston Red Sox Pitchers and Fried Chicken

This will never stop being funny to me.

Hue Jackson and Head Coaching Jobs

The guy who is 11-44-1 also thinks he was at his best in Cleveland and going 3-36-1. This one was never a good idea and will also remain hilarious until the end of time.

Brock Osweiler and DeAndre Hopkins

Nuk is and always will be awesome, but Osweiler… I’m at a loss for words. Hopefully, Daryl Morey doesn’t have to attach picks to dump Russ and his contract after one season.

LeBron James and Shaquille O’Neal

It’s not a recipe for success when one of the “athletes” appears to be warding off a stroke as he “runs” up and down the floor.

Carmelo Anthony and Allen Iverson

Two guys who care more about scoring 30 points than winning. I wonder why this didn’t work out.

Charles Barkley and Scottie Pippen

Two guys over 30 joining forces in Houston. I guess history isn’t supposed to repeat itself…?

Yao Ming and Tracy McGrady

Shit… There’s no way Russ and Harden are ever going to work in Houston.

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David Graf 17 Articles
Staff Writer

David is an Arkansas native and made stops in California and Texas. He recently graduated from the University of Wyoming and is actively searching for that first post-graduation job. He believes that the Justin Verlander, Deshaun Watson, and James Harden trades are the heists of the 21st Century. You may state your case if you disagree with him on Twitter @mrdavidgraf.

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