June 15, 2024


Folks, what a week this has been. Nike out here working the system, a cop walked into someone’s home and shot them, someone working under 45 published a piece in the New York Times, college football is in full swing, and Alex Jones is banned from Twitter. Nobody is safe from betrayal this fall!


Colin Kaepernick/Twitter

Nike is out here doing God’s work. Hustling the NFL and running a campaign with heavy social justice vibes. I mean, they probably still use sweatshops to make their products, but at least their marketing is on point. President Trump even had something to say about it (because of course he did). I think Trump secretly admires the marketing strategy of this campaign, since it features Colin Kaepernick, his favorite player.

The NFL is mad because they just signed a 10-year contract extension with Nike in March. WHAT A POWER MOVE, NIKE! That whole BDE thing that became a thing this year (thanks, Pete and Ariana)? Nike has that. They played it so cool extending that contract and then BAM! They go and make a commercial with Colin Kaepernick in it. AND it plays in the middle of Thursday Night Football. I’m sure Goodell probably shat himself when he saw that commercial and when it was slated to air. After months of the NFL trying to appease ultra-conservative fans and stop players from protesting during the playing of that national anthem, Nike hits them with this commercial when the season kicked off.

Of course, the NFL isn’t the only one mad about Nike’s partnership with Kaepernick. Fans all over the country are livid, and, in response to the Nike campaign, they’re burning their Nike gear. You tell ’em. Nike is receiving your message loud and clear, especially since their sales are up 31 percent since the commercial aired. Y’all are doing the most airing your grievances to Nike by burning the gear instead of donating it to homeless veterans. Fight the power, baby.

White Lady Shoots Black Man

A Dallas cop shot a man in his own apartment because she thought he was in her apartment. I guess she felt threatened by someone in a home that probably wasn’t decorated like hers, but somehow she felt connected enough that she should probably shoot the black man she saw. Seems legit. I don’t know about y’all, but I know it’s my home when I walk in. If I walked into a similar apartment unit, I would know it’s not mine because my stuff isn’t in it. But that’s using logic, a skill many cops seem to lack.

We see this story all the time with different names and different storylines that end with someone black and unarmed shot. Cops, if you’re reading this, could you please stop shooting us because you’re scared of black people? We’re just like you! Except often with more melanin in our skin. We live in nice apartments near yours, we go to the same grocery stores, we talk on our phones in our back yards, and we go out at night. Just like you! We have so much in common! Before you get on your “not all cops” soapbox, sit down and chill out. Enough cops are working in police departments with biases that cause them to make poor decisions. We all have biases, but we all don’t walk into the wrong apartment and shoot someone.

Vive La Resistance

Someone in the White House has some feelings. They wrote about it and had The New York Times publish an opinion piece. Anonymously, of course. The Trump Administration seems to not actually be a fan of the man “leading” the country. The people mad about this article probably range from the disgruntled liberal to El Jefe himself. Based on the information in this opinion piece, the Republicans are pretty unhappy with Trump because (news flash!) he doesn’t seem to care about the American people as a whole (my interpretation of what the article said). Oh and he lacks morals (I AM SHOCKED and cannot believe that this article would imply such a thing), doesn’t run effective meetings, and actively supports dictators. I can see why Mr. Trump is mad today. His homie pushed him in front of a bus. I’d be mad too, which is why I’m airing his grievances. I want to be inclusive of what folks are mad about.

While I appreciate whoever in the administration wrote this, it would be much better if they could just stop the craziness. Sure, letting the American people know that there are “adults in the room” is a mild relief. A better approach might be to sit your friend down over many drinks and tell him to be a better person. In all likelihood, this approach won’t work, but El Jefe might have appreciated the heads up that an article ripping him apart was going to be published in the crooked Times.

The Infowars End

This dude Alex Jones is some white supremacist conspiracy theorist, from what I gather. He also likes threatening people (but like, low key threats to journalists, ya dig). I heard about this many times when the news broke, which tells me he’s rocked the boat a bit. People are mad he’s banned, people are mad it took Twitter so long to ban him, and Twitter is probably mad that they now have to enforce hate speech rules. Nobody is getting what they want in this situation, except for the folks who wanted him off Twitter. Small wins?


I’m sure y’all mad about at least one of these things today. And if you’re not mad about something, you’re not paying attention. If next week is anything like this week, we’re about to spend much of September mad. Good thing football season is in full swing to help with that sting.

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Emily Cornell
Emily Cornell 208 Articles
Staff Writer

Emily grew up in the great state of Colorado, then decided the University of Wyoming sounded like a good time. Since graduating, she has tried to figure out how not to become an adult. To fully commit to this, she’s a part-time cheesecake maker and a semi-pro adventurer. Sometimes she shares her unpopular opinions on sports and life, if this interests you, she can be found on Twitter and Instagram like a true millennial @emilproblems.

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