July 13, 2024

Ted’s rules for fighting online

Those who know me, know I’ve been in my fair share of online arguments regarding my favorite sports teams. It’s all supposed to be in good fun, and to keep it that way, I’ve tried to devise some ground rules as a basis from which all of us can work.

Never make it personal

When fighting online with someone who has a different viewpoint than you, remember that you have no idea what is going on in their life. Want to make fun of their team? Fine. Want to make fun of how their quarterback had a butt fumble in a key spot? That is fine. Want to make fun of their point guard missing key free throws? Sure. Want to make fun of their coach’s inability to find pants that fit? Who doesn’t? Want to make fun of their appearance, race or gender? DON’T!

Were you alive?

You are only allowed to claim sporting accomplishments that you were alive to witness and have could have a memory of. For example, I am a Miami Dolphins fan. So technically my team is the BEST ever since they went undefeated, right? Wrong. It would be a real douche move of me to bring that season up in an argument because I was -10 at that point of my life. The same goes for a certain baseball team from Missouri that likes to brag about how many World Series wins they have that were before they faked the moon landing. In short, stick to let’s say the last 30 years or so when arguing about sporting accomplishments.

Leave the players out of it

Never and I mean never tag or try to bring in players of the teams you are currently arguing about into the conversation. These players have other things on their mind like school or their next contract. They don’t need to be dragged into a “which stadium is better” argument by @Sportsfan78 and @LacesoutDan13. To the “they make tons of money playing a game, I can tweet garbage at them if I want” crowd – no. Just, no.

Never use these two words    

PWNED: When you say PWNED, you sound like someone who hasn’t felt the touch of another human before. Heck I guess if you’re using PWNED online, maybe it has been so long that you have forgotten what that feels like. Just don’t use it.

Butthurt: Just because someone doesn’t like the outcome of a call or game doesn’t mean they are butthurt. If your team wins and you see someone complaining, maybe think about how you would be reacting if the shoe was on the other foot.

Blame the refs

When all else fails. Just blame the refs, because we all know they don’t have real emotions anyways right?

If short just try not to be a dick online. Hell, who am I kidding? This piece will be quote tweeted to space with people telling me I am butthurt.

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Ted Flint
Ted Flint 287 Articles
Site Founder - "The Man With the Plan"

Ted's friends often refer to him as the “Angry Panda" because of his cuddly, teddy bear-like nature and his fierce loyalty to those close to him. He's also not afraid to bite if you cross him or any of his allies. Born and bred in small town, southeastern Iowa, Ted took his Iowa State degree and moved to Kansas of all places. Ted loves to hold on to those small town roots though, by refusing to acknowledge any music made after 2005. His major goals include making the internet fun again, seeing the Cubs win a World Series live, and having a beer with Jon Stewart. This website is a step toward one of those goals.

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