August 15, 2022

Ranking College Football Bowl Games by Sponsor Sketch Level

Bowl season is full of festive excitement. The teams get to travel to exotic and distant locales like Frisco, TX or Annapolis, MD to put on an exhibition game, all in the name of charity and giving, and the holiday spirit. Corporate sponsorships abound, with ad money flowing as freely as the booze on the golf courses and in the shiny retail bars of the host city all week, and it makes one wonder if everyone is really in it for the giving, or if it is for the party and the tax write off.

All the D1 bowl games were sorted and based upon the author’s opinion, assigned an Evil Score and a Stupid Score. The scale is 0-5, with 0 being the least problematic, and 5 being the most problematic. Please keep in mind, this ranking is opinion-based and all in good fun.

The Problematic Scale infographic - 5 groupings of the 2021 bowl games - Unproblematic King, Probably Fine, Kinda Sketchy, Sus, and Problematic.
Tami Dooley | The Tailgate Society

First, our unproblematic king – Dukes Mayo. Great product, hilarious brand voice, and fan-owned. What’s not to love?

Next, the probably fine group:

Gator BowlTaxSlayerThese guys seem pretty great, tbh. Software for handling taxes for freelancers.
Las Vegas BowlSRS DistributionGot nothing. Building supply distribution is tame enough apparently.
New Orleans BowlR+L CarriersLogistics is a nightmare, and these guys at least seem to pay well.
Texas BowlTaxActThese guys also seem okay, as far as tax preparers go.
Gasparilla BowlUnion Home MortgageA good mortgage company? Hell, yeah!
Pinstripe BowlNew EraHats are fine.
First Responder BowlServproWhat’s this, a corporation that seems to provide a solid service?
Camellia BowlTaxActThese guys also seem okay, as far as tax preparers go.
Frisco BowlTropical Smoothie CafeMmm. Mango smoothie.
Myrtle Beach BowlNoneNo sponsor, no points.
Fenway BowlWasabiSome startup cloud storage company.
LA BowlJimmy KimmelThis is fine. Better than Barstool by miles anyway.
Bahamas BowlNoneNo sponsor, no points. RIP Popeyes.
Hawaii BowlEasyPostAnother startup. Postage as a service?

Kinda Sketchy:

Liberty BowlAutoZoneGet in the zone, but only if you need a generic part and don’t want to wait for shipping and don’t have an O’Reilly’s close.
Holiday BowlSan Diego County Credit UnionApparently Yelp is mad about their service, so they get a stupid point. But Credit Unions > Banks all day.
Music City BowlTransPerfectThey get a stupid point for dumb corporate infighting to the point where the court liquidated the company.
Outback BowlOutbackAs far as massive restaurant companies go, this one seems decent. 1 evil point for still having servers out there getting minimum.
Fiesta BowlPlayStationSony, unfortunately, has a baseline bc tech company, but is a pretty good one!
Quick Lane BowlFordFord: We’re way less evil than we could be.
Birmingham BowlTicketSmarter1 stupid point for the ticket reseller concept, and 1 stupid point for partnering with the Mountain West for some reason.
New Mexico BowlPUBG MobileThis sponsorship is stupid because just reinvest the profits back into the company and employees instead of advertising to the 25 fans of whoever is playing in this game.
Cotton Bowl ClassicGoodyearGoodyear isn’t especially bad, but get points for contributions to both climate change and keeping the gender pay gap going.
Cure BowlTailgreeterNo, pls don’t monetize hanging out at a tailgate, ya fucks.

Sus:

Guaranteed Rate BowlGuaranteed RateMortgage companies get a baseline of 2, but these guys got an extra point for having to pay fines over being shady idiots.
Boca Raton BowlRoofClaim.comDoor-to-door sales solicitation? No thanks.
Peach BowlChick-fil-AQuit giving the hateful chicken people your money. Popeyes is better anyway.
Sun BowlTony the Tiger (Kellogg’s)Kelloggs loosed corn flakes on the world on the theory that having breakfast without substance would keep people from masturbating. They’ve improved their thinking since, but what the hell was that?
Cheez-It BowlCheez-It (Kellogg’s)See Tony the Tiger
Rose Bowl GameCapital OneBanks have a natural evil/stupid level of 3, especially when built on 20+% interest consumer credit. That being said, when Capitol one isn’t looking the other way on money laundering, they at least have pledged recently to stop charging consumer fees.
Orange BowlCapital OneBanks have a natural evil/stupid level of 3, especially when built on 20+% interest consumer credit. That being said, when Capitol one isn’t looking the other way on money laundering, they at least have pledged recently to stop charging consumer fees.
Sugar BowlAllstateInsurance companies also get a naturally elevated evil/stupid level, and it would make sense for Allstate to advertise a little less and pay out more claims. Alas, the Cotton Bowl and commercials played until we hate them.
Alamo BowlValeroPetrochemical company? Sus is Baseline.

Finally, the most problematic:

LendingTree BowlLendingTreeThis mortgage company’s CEO got nailed taking 40m bucks.
Independence BowlRadiance TechnologiesDefense contractors get max evil points and 2 stupid points for existing.
Armed Forces BowlLockheed MartinDefense contractors get max evil points and 2 stupid points for existing.
Military BowlPeratonDefense contractors get max evil points and 2 stupid points for existing.
Citrus BowlVrboVrbo is owned by Expedia. This score is solely on the strength of what a pain booking things through them is, and the endless accounts of a bad refund process when needing to cancel.
Famous Idaho Potato BowlIdaho Potato CommissionFolksy commercials with a red truck are cute. A complete stranglehold on the politics of a state is not.
Arizona BowlBarstool SportsBarstool is a purveyor of bottom-feeder content. Their leaders create a culture of misogyny and spread it to the masses for the revenue, and frankly, none of it is as funny as they think. Also, Dave Portnoy is a paper-handed bitch. 💎

Chaplin
Tami Dooley 140 Articles
BGSD

Tami is from Idaho. She's a fan of the Boise State Broncos and the Seattle Seahawks, college football on the whole, and almost thought about becoming a baseball fan for a minute one time. Send whiskey.

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