July 15, 2024

Shawntez’s Tailgate Drink Menu – Week 12

Week 11 is gone and now we stare down the final two weeks of the regular season. Some of the conference championships and division winners have been squared away, while a few others have a couple formalities to go through for someone to clinch. Others face some scenarios where a small upset could pave the way for a few teams to get into games people never thought they would make.

Wisconsin lost early last Saturday clinching the Big Ten West for Northwestern, which is the first step for us to get an 8-5 Wildcat team against an 8-5 Arizona State team led by the legendary Herm Edwards in the Rose Bowl (full disclosure, I don’t actually know if ASU can make it with that record, but let’s roll with it). Most of the rest of the country went about the way it was expected. LSU snuck out against Arkansas, the Sooners came down to the wire against Oklahoma State, snagging a win through a combination of missed extra points and eventually missed two-point conversion. Vegas lines nailed the Alabama and Clemson games and I felt that should be applauded, so kudos to you Vegas! Here’s your warning, for the most part this weeks slate of games blows, a huge part of this being that it’s the SEC against the Southern Conference this week. Yay.

Corona Sunrise

I warned you, I swear I warned you, and I’m doubling down on the fact that this week blows besides a couple exceptions later on. For example, The Citadel goes to Alabama, Ohio State goes to Maryland, Penn State goes to Rutgers, Idaho heads to Florida. The only games you might both to watch in the first wave of games would be Utah at Colorado which might shake out to be a decent game and will help push Utah into their conference title game, TCU at Baylor which is two subpar teams trying to act like good teams, and Michigan State battles Nebraska in Lincoln and mark my words – Nebraska’s back baby!

What You’ll Need: Tequila, Corona (or the cute little baby Coronitas), orange juice, grenadine

Everyone’s had a Beer-rita, I think, and this a similar take on a classic tequila cocktail. Fill a glass with ice and add in a shot of tequila. Next fill the glass with orange juice until it’s about 3/4 full, then top off with orange juice and a splash of grenadine!

Apple Cider Old Fashioned

The afternoon gets a touch better, headlined by Syracuse heading to South Bend to take on Notre Dame. This is game 1 of 3 that doesn’t blow this week. WVU takes on Oklahoma State which could feature a whole lot of offense all game long, so that’d be maybe my entertaining pick of the afternoon. Iowa plays Illinois. This game might get over in 2 hours flat. The other games that aren’t featuring anyone good but might be close and worth a few minutes of viewing pleasure would be Miami taking on Virginia Tech, Texas Tech facing Kansas State in what is growing in belief as Bill Snyder’s last home game, and Wisconsin battling Purdue who might have just lost their coach if current reports are true.

What You’ll Need: Apple cider, whiskey, Angostura bitters

Add a few ice cubes to your cocktail cup and pour in two shots of your preferred whiskey. Add in a small pour of apple cider and two dashes of bitters. Give everything a good stir and begin sipping your afternoon away!

Mongolian MoFo

Like the afternoon, the night slate is ok at best. Highlighted by ESPN’s game of the week and host of College Gameday. Cincinnati heads south to go head to head with UCF. Both teams could use a big win to vault them up in position for that coveted “highest ranked G5 team” for a New Year’s 6 bowl. Fresno State is hosting San Diego State and would like to get their name back into that conversation, but it’s going to take some help from a few other teams.

The other big game of the night is Iowa State heading to Austin looking to knock off the Longhorns. Tom Herman was involved in a little internet drama last week when former Ohio State garbage assistant Zach Smith took to Twitter again threatening to expose Herman. That’s 1 of the 7 billion reasons to be a fan of the Cyclones this weekend. So throw the Horns Down, just make sure it looks family appropriate and not near a referee, and go Clones. Elsewhere in the country, the Pac-12 has some things going on, but nothing too fun. Wazzu still battling at the top and looking for someone to drop so they can work up to the playoff. Other than that, all the middle of the road teams out west play each other and like any other week, we don’t really care. Go Cougs.

What You’ll Need: vodka, gin, rum, triple sec, sloe gin, Bacardi 151, Southern Comfort, orange juice, cranberry juice, grenadine

Look it’s been a while since I’ve tried to kill someone with alcohol in this article (almost a whole month!) so I figured we’d go for it now! You’re obviously going to want a larger container for this monstrosity considering all the crap we need to combine here. Besides that it’s pretty simple, combine equal parts of all the liquors together into your cup, then top off with orange and cranberry juices adding a splash of grenadine at the top. If the football can’t be good this week, the drinks might as well be!


Shawn Fensterman | The Tailgate Society

Apple flavors always seem to take over this time of year and I’ll embrace it one last time this week with a promise it won’t show up next week. I’ve always known Angry Balls to be enjoyed as a drink, but if you’re looking to kick start your intoxication there’s people who went ahead and envisioned it as a shot! An Angry Bomb is simple enough, fill a shot glass with Fireball and drop it into a small glass of Angry Orchard and shoot it!

That’s the best I can do to polish the turd that is Week 12 in college football land. Try and fill your time with at least something entertaining. As always, I hope everyone’s favorite team wins this week! Stay safe, stay hydrated and stay warm! I’ll be back for all the excitement of the last week of the regular season next week and it should be a blast for all of us.


Previous Menus:

Week 1

Week 3

Week 4

Week 5

Week 6

Week 7

Week 8

Week 9

Week 10

Week 11

Muddy Bites banner, with photos of delicious waffle cone tips and Muddy Bites packages on a light blue background - "Muddy Bites Happiness Multiplied" -
Shawn Fensterman
Shawn Fensterman 46 Articles
Staff Writer

Shawn is from Indianola, Iowa, and today it still remains home. After finishing high school with a stat line of 1 career target, 0 receptions and 1 drop, he realized the NFL would not be in his future. Shawn is a huge sports fan, yet only cheers for one team within a 10 hour drive. When not complaining about how stupid the 2:00 warning is; Shawn works as a bartender, enjoys quality vodka, cheap beer and beating any challenger in NHL video games.

Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.