June 24, 2018

The Good, the Bad, and the Wounded: “The Bachelorette” Power Rankings – Episode #3

Kim Jong Un & another dictator tried to keep me from watching Becca on her journey for l-o-v-e tonight, so it took a little longer. We finally got through episode #3, though.  The guys impressed by (for the most part) being really respectful of one another, but somehow we still ended up with two of them earning a trip to the hospital.

1-on-1: Chris

Group Date #1: Jason, Wills, Jean Blanc, Colton, David, Jordan

Group Date #2: Blake, Connor, Garrett, Clay, Leo, Lincoln, John, Christon, Ryan, Mike

No Date: Nick

Biggest Movers: Jason (up 10 spots), Colton (up 9 spots), David (down 6 spots)


Top Candidates:

  1. Blake (previous ranking #1):  It was close, but I’m keeping Blake at #1.  He had the expected post 1-on-1 jealousy vibes that happens every year, but he’s hands down had the overall best 3 weeks.  Tonight he called Becca his girlfriend, and she was “smitten”.
  2. Chris (#8): It’s no secret that in past weeks I haven’t seen the appeal of this guy, but tonight I kind of started to get it.  He’s suave but human and showed that on his 1-on-1 by opening up about how his dad left when he was a kid.
  3. Connor (#4): Hat tip to Connor for staying out of drama this week!  He didn’t have much to write home about until the cocktail party where he pulled Becca aside to play some baseball out in the mansion driveway.  Cue the home-run make out session.
  4. Garrett (#7): After taking a drop last week due to his social media activity, Garrett moves back into Becca’s arms this week (they seriously could not keep their hands off each other) and back into the top 4.

Running Mates:

  1.  Jason (#15):  In what will probably end up being the biggest jump of the season, Jason goes from not even getting a group date last week to being one of the stars of the show this week.  Sure, Becca forgot his name at one point, but by the end of the night they were having one of the steamiest make-out sessions of the season.

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  1. Wills (#2):  I warned y’all that I would need to see more from Wills this week if he was going to stay at the top.  Didn’t happen.
  2. Jean Blanc (#3): Jean B, where you at?  He didn’t do anything bad, but he also didn’t have any shining moments.
  3. Colton (#17):  Don’t call it a comeback! After it was revealed last week that Colton possibly signed up for the show thinking Tia was the bachelorette, Colton got to go on a date with Becca… and Tia.  He managed to convince Becca she was his only interest, and Tia seemed to echo that the relationship was long over. Colton got a group date rose.

Hanging in there:

  1.  Lincoln (#10):  It’s clear this guy is not from America.  Football is not his game.
  2.  David (#6): The tension between David and Jordan escalated after David told Becca that Jordan was bragging about his 4000 Tinder matches.  These two are destined for a 2-on-1 date. I lost some love for David tonight. I know he’s the better of the two guys, but he’s barely acting better than Jordan.  That was just the beginning for David, though, as he fell out of the top bunk of his bed (no, seriously) and smashed his face to oblivion, earning a trip to the ICU.  Will Becca have pity on him?
  3. Leo (#12): I know she digs him, but I can’t help but think Leo’s days might be numbered.
  4. John (#9):  What does this beautiful human specimen have to do to get some screen time?  Sigh.

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Facing Impeachment:

  1. Christon (#11):  I mean…he’s still hot?
  2. Jordan (#18):  I would love to keep him at the very bottom because eww but I have to be fair, and Becca almost (maybe?) felt bad for him getting thrown under the bus by David. The fact remains that he is not here for Becca.
  3. Ryan (#13):  It’s hard to believe this guy has had two dates.
  4. Mike (#16):  Are we sure Mike was on this episode?
  5. Nick (#14):  No date for NIck this week.  Poor guy has to have cabin fever.

In Loving Memory:
We didn’t get a rose ceremony this week before the credits rolled so that’s where we’ll pick up next week. We did, however, lose Clay. Poor Clay hurt his wrist during the football group date and, being an actual pro-football player, when the doctor said he needed surgery immediately, he had to say goodbye to Becca.  Look, we all know Clay wasn’t going to be the last man standing, but he and Becca were forming a bond (he got a group date rose tonight!) more than the majority of these guys. I had him penciled in at #3 in the power rankings before his honorable discharge.

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Lindsey Schoon
Lindsey Schoon 10 Articles
Staff Writer

Lindsey is a Pocahontas, Iowa native. After receiving her Kinesiology degree from Iowa State University she moved to San Diego, California to see if anyone there knew what kinesiology was and how it could make her money. No one there knew either so she now tells a Fortune 500 company in Kansas City how to spend their money. Her New Years Resolution is to be able to touch her toes someday. She looks good in hats, likes the worst dog more than the best person, and doesn't give a fuck what you think of her.

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