June 24, 2018

The Bachelorette: An ode to the damaged photograph

I am four glasses of wine deep post-Bachelorette, and all I can think about is how much these guys love to run to Becca and snitch and twist situations, and how much Becca loves to be over the top.

Take a shot every time Arie is mentioned…OH WAIT

You’d be blacked out if we did that. Anyway, this weeks episode blessed us with a one-on-one that was focused around smashing stuff that reminded Becca of her past. Literally smashing sets from specific moments Becca and Arie shared. If I were Blake I don’t know how I would get excited about that?

I AM SO OVER THIS CONSTANT necessity to make Arie so relevant constantly on the show. The date idea of smashing stuff was fabulous, I would love to do something like that but the fact that we had to make it all about Arie and the engagement is once again, cringeworthy.

I get it…this is all the producers milking it…I GET IT but please let’s move on. I’m bored and it’s so rundown at this point. Sure, maybe this is therapeutic for Becca and if so someone please put a statement out because it looks pathetic to keep talking about him. I’m cringing honestly.

The only good things about our first one-on-one was well, of course, Blake and the camera editing that went into this date. Beautifully done.

NEXT.

Attack of the Gossip Queens

This group of men love, love, love the drama. They run to Becca to warn her about things or other men’s intentions and everyone forgets they’re all fighting for the same woman. How is Becca supposed to figure out who her husband is going to be when everyone is so busy snitching each other out instead of getting to know each other.

Sure, let’s be mad at Connor for being a tad too sensitive about Lincoln and his pathetic, over the top show over the dumb photo he got from the challenge but Lincoln looked more stupid with the little cry fest he threw over how upset and heart broken he was over a photograph that meant SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much to him. It is the first week…stop being so pathetic. I really liked Lincoln. He seemed very sweet and he has that whole accent going for him but the moment we start first dates he pulls this middle school stuff? ELIMINATE HIM. What made my blood boil is the little act he put on for Becca where he blatantly left out the details on what motivated Colton to do what he did. Both men were childish in the end but Lincoln looked like a fool. LITERAL TEARS left his eyes the next day when retelling the story of the tragedy of his photograph of HIS WIFE. He called BECCA HIS WIFE. THAT’S SO CREEPY.

Becca should’ve put them in their place at that moment in time not the little stunt she pulled with Colton at the cocktail party by saying,

“I feel like I see something in you that I’m very attracted to, and there’s that interest there,” she tells him. “But until I have more clarity, I don’t even want to really invest in this relationship. So if you sense that I am holding back with you, I am.”

Seriously? This is where I immediately chugged two glasses of wine.

Speaking of Becca

I get that being the center of attention can probably influence how Becca may act a bit, but her behavior when some of the guys weren’t afraid to hit her during dodge ball had me rolling my eyes into next year.

What truly took the crown was the way she decided to be overly dramatic about Coltons…TIA CONFESSION.

I understand that her and Tia have grown into great friends and that’s awesome. I’m all for girls coming together after ya know..they competed on national television for a mans heart.

So for Becca to act the way she did, make Colton probably feel like shit and use the words “I feel sick” is rather confusing to me being the circumstances she’s in.

Let’s analyze the situation:

  1. It’s week one and it’s the first round of dates…Colton was upfront and quick to make this known to her. How do we not respect him for that?
  2. People have pasts and it just so happens that Colton dated someone who Becca is now close with. Clearly they didn’t see each other when Tia and Becca were friends or Becca would’ve known because close friends tell each other those things so how upset can we really be about this situation.

Becca is being so over the top and ridiculous. How dare Colton have a past and have seen other people? If she’s that uncomfortable with it like she’s acting then send him home? Oh wait, Tia is making a guest appearance next week!!! OMG THE DRAMA. How will anyone ever handle the relationship that lasted a weekend and didn’t really work out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This weeks MVP: JORDAN

I know we all hate Jordan, but can we talk about how Becca had the audacity to not know what he does for a living? During the group date she looked at him and asked him if he was a model…this is literally Jordan’s mere reason for existence, and his one piece of confidence that keeps him going everyday that he wakes up and has to deal with all those peasants. Poor guy…

BUT let’s not forget when he legitimately took his clothes off for his one-on-one time with Becca at the cocktail party where he insisted that he wants Becca to like his personality and interrupted David’s time to proclaim this. I couldn’t help but chuckle watching him strut around with the pink blanket afterwards into his argument with David and during the rose ceremony. Someone send me a sign that he’s going to paradise because that would be where he would truly thrive.

This Trash Player of the Week: LINCOLN 

You cried legitimate tears on national television over a photograph taken during week ones group date in which you called Becca your wife. You’re a fraud and I am cringing.

Moment of Silence for… 

The guy who cried when he was eliminated. It broke my heart to see the way his eyes filled with tears and you could tell he was going to start sobbing…

Jacqueline Cordova
Jacqueline Cordova 15 Articles
Staff Writer

Jacqueline is a current Iowa State student studying journalism. After writing one article for Ethos Magazine on athletes, Jacqueline realized her original plans with an English major were wrong and she flipped her whole life upside down and now wants to devote the rest of her life to the sports industry. Jacqueline takes great liking to bar popcorn and long islands. Some, if not everybody, would describe Jacqueline as the "mom friend". You can find Jacqueline either listening to rap music, googling videos of corgi puppies or looking for the next friend to feed cookies and a home cooked meal.

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