June 21, 2024

Mt Rushmore: This Is SportsCenter Commercials

This is SportsCenter. Some of the best advertising created, the campaign knows it’s audience and caters to it. Presenting a quick humorous look behind the scenes in Bristol with famous athletes, who always seemed to give believable performances. They have had dozens of ads over the years, most of them memorable. The staff carrying Kerri Shrug around the office. Jimmy Johnson taking a pick ax to a speed bump in the parking lot. Lance Armstrong providing electricity to the whole building with a stationary bike. So in the spirit of Mt. Rushmore week, I’ve got my favorites.

LaDainian Tomlinson in the Mail Room

Clever and funny. LT was famous for his dark visor while playing in the NFL. For the record dark visors are sweet in the NFL and a horrendously bad idea in hockey. Anywhoodle, LT is in the mail room and struggling to see the names on the mail boxes. It’s brief, it’s clever, it’s funny. And those powder blue jerseys are some of the best looking in the NFL. Ironically enough, LT is now on the NFL Network in studio as an analysis. Hey look, it’s Steve Levy.


Ovechkin the Russian Spy

This was from several years ago but has made it’s return. Holy shit it’s timely now with Russian spying and Ovechkin just won the Stanley Cup. Side note: the goalie is Semyon Varlamov who is now with the Colorado Avalanche (when he’s not injured). Once again, it’s quick, clever, and memorable.  Steve Levy huge hockey guy and one of the few guys that is still at ESPN after all these years, and thankfully so.

Albert Pujols the Machine

Steve Levy always seems to be in the funniest ones. If he loved himself as much as we did, he’d be Dan Patrick and talk about it constantly. This was not intentional but Steve has been in all 3 so far.  This one features Albert at a copier. He swears he’s not a machine. Best part is the “shut up” to the talking copy machine at the end.

Paul Konerko and Tim Hudson Weird

This one almost doesn’t feature an ESPN anchor. You see them in the background, but it’s one of the few commercials that doesn’t have them talking. I don’t know why, but this one has always been my favorites. I totally forgot it was Tim Hudson and that he was with the A’s but Paul Konerko was good. Heck, I saw the dude play in the AAA All-Star game at Sec Taylor. And he brings up a good point, why is the foul pole in fair territory? Why do the White Sox have…black socks?

This is SportsCenter commericals making me miss the old days of the show, with the wit and humor over highlights of that night’s games. Man, that was fun growing up. Now, it’s dedicated to welp…LeBron, LeBron, LeBron right now. If it’s not him it’s Tom Brady. If it’s not Tom then it’s Yankees and Red Sox. Hey, did you know Aaron Judge is tall?! But anyway, I digress. ESPN is still capable of brilliance and not just the 30 for 30. ESPN was build on quick wit and being loose and funny. They should get back to that and away from two guys yelling at each other in nice suits. Arguments are overrated. Humor never is.

Mt Rushmore’s That Did Not Make the Cut

Teams that Iowa should totally play instead of UNI and Drake.

Why? Because it’s timely and Gary Barta sucks. Jamie Pollard is awesome. I’m not an ISU guy, but the few times I met Jamie he has been incredible. If you want to know why he’s grown ISU as much as he has, it’s because of his personality. He was nearly killed for making people buy a season ticket to go to the Iowa v Iowa State game. How do you like him now?

Bands You (Probably) Never Heard of But Need To

Wan Santo Condo.

Ron Santo’s Condo?

No, Wan Santo Condo

Never heard of em.

Exactly. A band with one album. The vocals are like the dude from Korn if he actually sang instead of going “ba-boom ba ba ba-boom ba ba” and the music of Radiohead when they actually played guitars. Because anyone can play guitar, you see. (Editor’s note: Remember, all complaints about this awful take can be addressed to @jared_leeper on Twitter.) But it’s a good record and the band fizzled out when one of the guys joined Ben Harper. Good career choice out of that guy.  Maybe that will be next years Mt Rushmore. You can check the band out here.  Tracks 1, 6, & 9 (nice) are my favorites. Track 10 actually has the dude from Counting Crows singing in it as well. I only know the guys from working a radio station in college. Hell, Google almost has nothing on them.

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J.T. Nutt
J.T. Nutt 35 Articles
Staff Writer

JT "the" Nutt graduated from UNI in 2006 and worked at WHO-TV for a few years including Soundoff. JT then spent the past five years covering UNI most recently for On Press Row. He works as a cameraman for the Iowa Wild, Iowa Energy, and Iowa Barnstormers. JT loves the Cubs, UNI, Avalanche, Chargers, beer, hockey, the WWE, and cat memes.

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