July 15, 2024

WYMAT: Basic Complaints from a Basic Woman

I’ll own it, I’m a fairly basic woman who enjoys complaining as much as the next person. I apologize if this WYMAT seems narrow in focus. Know I’m always wondering what y’all mad about today, so feel free to let me know! I’m open to suggestions because obviously I will bitch about just about anything.

Taylor Swift’s New Album
Taylor Swift’s new album only being available for purchase but not streaming in the first week. Who decided this was okay? Related imageAll I wanted to do was listen to the album and determine whether or not I was going to listen to it on repeat for the next month until I hate it. I’ve read many reviews about the album just dogging it and I can’t listen to it for free to even know what they’re talking smack about. To be clear, even if I could listen to the album right now without purchasing it, I’m sure I will still have a section on this album. I’m sure folks are mad about the pettiness in the songs. Give me a few weeks, and I’ll complain again about this album.

Get Out
OH. MY. GOD. Get Out is arguably one of the best movies to show people white liberalism at its finest (and by that I mean, yes, your white liberalism is actually hurting people, stop it!). This movie is not a comedy. This movie is a commentary on race in America today, specifically regarding Black bodies. There are layers to this movie with some comedic relief, but don’t confuse that with Get Out being a comedy. I’m not only mad, I’m very disappointed in how the movie shows a problem within society, which then the movie experiences that same problem. Plot twist, we have a race problem in America, so maybe we should actually listen to those groups who are feeling disenfranchised.

Bicyclists in Boulder
I moved to Boulder in August. I was over the bicyclists by the end of August. Between not using the bicycle lanes and not caring about pedestrians, I want most bicyclists to never come near me again. They wonder why people are annoyed, I’ll tell you why. Stop riding your bicycle on the sidewalk when the bicycle lane is 3 feet wide and readily accessible to you. Don’t get sassy with pedestrians when you have to ride behind us when you could be using the bicycle lane! Also, don’t be mad when you’re literally 100 feet behind a car that’s turning right who drives through the bike lane to turn right. If you’re not already there or even close to being there, dude, I’m turning. Ain’t nobody got time to sit and wait for you. Life moves fast, and so should you. End rant. Judge me if you want, but until you live with the nuisance that is Boulder bicyclists, don’t come at me.

UCLA Basketball Team
Yo, I know who is mad about the UCLA team, and that’s really the only reason they made it to this rant. In the interest of targeting various people, WYMAT needs to address the various things people could be mad about. Some people get mad when they get reckless kids out of international jail and then tweet about it. Wherever you stand on this issue, can we just take a moment to laugh about the fact that a) The basketball players were in Chinese jail, b) 45 helped get them out and c) the tweet. This is literally the most ridiculous storyline I’ve read in the last few weeks. I’m not sure if it’s even a WYMAT or just a WTF.

Sexual Assault Image result for gabby douglas tweet
In other news, sexual assault remains a problem in our country, so get mad, folks. When someone comes forward, do the right thing and believe and support them. We need to put an end to rape culture, and a step in the right direction is stop questioning people who come forward. As an ally, probably don’t blame what a victim was wearing. Allies and survivors are pretty tired of hearing “dress modestly.” The rhetoric and behaviors need to change from trying to defend the perpetrator to supporting the victim. You want to talk about senseless crimes? Let’s talk about how this is something that can be prevented by teaching folks not to violate other people. It’s a radical idea, but it just might help!

Greek Life
You know what isn’t really good for the publicity of any university? Students dying because of their involvement in student organizations. Either fraternities need to get it together, or universities need to start banning them. As a third-party observer with no involvement in the issue, I suggest parents start teaching their kids how to be good humans before setting them loose on society.

Again, throwing this into the mix to appease different types of folks. As a millennial, I know we are literally the worst generation. We don’t buy houses, cable, or chain restaurant food. We’re too poor to buy houses because we spend all our money on avocado toast and cold pressed juices. We use the internet for everything, so Netflix has taken over as our source of entertainment. We like local restaurants because we can get avocado toast at those places. We’re literally ruining the world for our children by caring about the implications of global warming, which is debatably happening! We’re getting married later, which means we’re having sex out of wedlock (oh, Lord Jesus, nooooo!), but we’re not big on procreating which means there will be fewer Americans in the future. And don’t get me started on how we’re ruining the mental health game. Self-care advocates, what even are those? Back in the day, the only self-care we needed was a handle of whiskey and a some chewin’ tobacco. Kids these days want to actually explore why they feel what they feel. Oh god, please, make it stop. There is just too much self-awareness from millennials, and they’re ruining the country!


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Emily Cornell
Emily Cornell 208 Articles
Staff Writer

Emily grew up in the great state of Colorado, then decided the University of Wyoming sounded like a good time. Since graduating, she has tried to figure out how not to become an adult. To fully commit to this, she’s a part-time cheesecake maker and a semi-pro adventurer. Sometimes she shares her unpopular opinions on sports and life, if this interests you, she can be found on Twitter and Instagram like a true millennial @emilproblems.

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