November 25, 2017

NFL Color Rush: WTF?

It was another enthralling Thursday night matchup in mid-November. The NFL neglected all color blind people (8% of men and 0.5% of women) by making the Jets and the Bills wear these:

Getty Images
Getty Images

No, it wasn’t early Christmas. It was the NFL Color Rush uniforms. And our poor color blind friends were not too happy about it.

Don’t forget the beautiful, baby-poop Jaguars Color Rush uniforms from last season:

Reinhold Matay-USA TODAY Sports
Reinhold Matay-USA TODAY Sports

It went over so well last season that of COURSE the NFL decided to do it again. But this time, they’ve made them for all 32 teams AND they’re available for purchase today! Gee golly, NFL. You’re so great to us fans. Thanks, Rodger!

(I want to apologize to my color blind friends for what’s about to happen.)

So here’s what all 32 teams’ Color Rush unis look like:

Is that white? White isn’t even a color. White is the absence of color. How can you COLOR RUSH white? Most of these uniforms aren’t even new – if they are, they look a hell of a lot like existing uniforms.

For example:

samecolors

None of those look different. Not a single one of those uniforms are new. Brown for the Browns, how original. The Packers have that uniform in rotation – do they not? Like, since forever they’ve been wearing white. This is not new. God damn it.

On the other end of the spectrum, you have the drastic colors – which I can only assume is the damn point of having Color Rush uniforms. Exhibit B:

drastic-cr

I hate the Broncos in all orange so, so much. The Dolphins also got bright f’ing orange. Like florescent orange – off a damn orange tree, orange. All purple for the Vikings and the Ravens. AND SO MUCH WHITE. WHITE IS NOT A COLOR. Oakland got white uniforms – no. Saints got white uniforms – no. The Bengals got white uniforms – absolutely NOT. Pittsburgh, Arizona, San Francisco (these uniforms are not new, so stop): all black. COLOR. RUSH. The Jaguars? Still stuck with baby-poop goldenrod. I have to admit though, the Chargers uniforms are pretty dope. They got lucky. I hope Phillip Rivers’ 15 children each get one.

So I’ve been ignoring what might be the most obnoxious uniform in this entire set. I’m torn. I’m disappointed, but also kind of excited. I have feelings that I can’t describe about these uniforms. Fans have photoshopped these before, they’ve made them on Madden, and have complained about wanting them for the last few years. It finally happened. The Seattle Seahawks utilized the Action Green to it’s full potential and holy shit.

The Seahawks made an entire damn website dedicated to action green. I hate it so much, I think I love it. I have the Seahawks Pro Shop website pulled up on my computer, looking at them wondering if I truly do hate it so much I love it. I just put up a poll on my Twitter page asking my fellow Seahawks fans if they like them… so far, 100% said yes. YES THEY LIKE THE ACTION GREEN. I’m confused and I’m afraid it’s going to affect my credit card.

Seahawks/NFL
Seahawks/NFL

Please send help. Here’s the full Thursday Night Football/Color Rush Display schedule:
Here’s a complete look at the Thursday Night Football Color Rush schedule for 2016:

9/15 – Jets at Bills
9/22 – Texans at Patriots
9/29 – Dolphins at Bengals
10/6 – Cardinals at 49ers
10/13 – Broncos at Chargers
10/20 – Bears at Packers
10/27 – Jaguars at Titans
11/3 – Falcons at Buccaneers
11/10 – Browns at Ravens
11/17 – Saints at Panthers
12/1 – Cowboys at Vikings
12/8 – Raiders at Chiefs
12/15 – Rams at Seahawks
12/22 – Giants at Eagles
12/25 – Ravens at Steelers (special edition of Thursday Night Football)

Janice Morin 18 Articles

Staff Writer

A Boise State alum, Janice has a passion for a certain Blue Turf, but loves football of any kind. After spending some time covering high school sports for sports radio, Janice has decided to stay true to her writing roots and finds herself here: The Tailgate Society. In addition to football, Janice is an avid baseball, hockey, and basketball fan. She likes long walks around the block with her dog, Griffey, and enjoys a cold beer or two, responsibly, with pals. You can find her on Twitter @janicemorinn and Instagram @janice.morin.

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