November 24, 2017

BATTLEDOME: Who has the best burrito?

Please help us decide who has the best chain burrito. Let us know who you agree with in the comments below, or blow up everyone’s Twitter timelines with your #HOTTAKES.

@jaredsmith24: It’s 10:00, lets fucking do this!

@tedflintkansas: Remember when arguing today that, burritos are just burritos – much like coffee is coffee. There is no difference. The greatest burrito was Flying Burrito RIP. Begin!!!

@jtthenutt: Flying is good but they refuse to mix the ingredients up.

@_alexgookin: Let’s face it, guys. Pancheros is the better burrito, and every Chipotle fan tries justifying their precious burrito bowls as burritos to make their argument.

@jaredsmith24: It’s a bowl, not a burrito.

@thesarahkelly: Burritos suck. They’re like a shittier version of tacos.

@_alexgookin: @thesarahkelly has already lost this battle. Sad!

@arnoldthethird: @thesarahkelly I like this.

@thesarahkelly: Burritos suck. They’re like a shittier version of tacos.

@janicemorinn: Burritos are garbage.

@jaredsmith24: Or are they a way to have more taco filling in one trip?

@havrhll: In the upper Midwest, Pepperjax is better than Chipotle. They use the philly steak and it takes it over the top.

@thesarahkelly: Furthermore, basic white people need to chill with the queso dip already.

@havrhll: Want to fight @thesarahkelly?

@arnoldthethird: I won’t stand for burrito slander. We have to come to our senses as a society here.

@havrhll: Queso dip is life’s nectar.

@_alexgookin: Pepperjax is not superior to Pancheros. It just isn’t. The philly steak is good, but also… kind of not burrito-ish at all?

@thesarahkelly: Burritos are way too much tortilla, and in the case of major chain burritos, way too much rice. NO THANKS.

@janicemorinn: Burritos are messy and so unnecessary. Burrito bowls are allowed.

@bsjames85: So much burrito hate…

@jaredsmith24: How are burritos messy?

@thesarahkelly: It feels good not to be alone in the world, @janicemorinn.

@_alexgookin: Burritos are messy???? THEN WHAT DO YOU CALL TACOS?

@bsjames85: Tacos are a lot cleaner that burritos. I still fuck with them, though.

@janicemorinn: Tacos aren’t half as messy as burritos unless you’re a savage.

@_alexgookin: Unbelievable.

@jaredsmith24: Tacos are great – don’t get me wrong, but burritos are greater.

@thesarahkelly: Anyway, Pancheros’ chips are gross and so is their queso, and honestly the whole place just sucks.

@arnoldthethird: Agreed on all counts. Pancheros is obviously garbage, let’s just get that out of the way early.

@havrhll: Pancheros is C-.

@_AJSPECK_: Wow.

@_alexgookin: WOW, GOOD OPINION ON THINGS NOT BURRITOS, @thesarahkelly.

@jaredsmith24: We talkin’ burritos, not chips fam.

@_AJSPECK_: Who are you monsters?

@thesarahkelly: Freebirds has better salsa than Pancheros, but I still think it’s overrated.

@havrhll: Torchy’s and Fuzzy’s are better than Pancheros.

@_AJSPECK_: Someone tell me Qdoba is edible. Just try.

@tiffanyhurring: I hope one day I can be as passionate about anything as @_alexgookin is about burritos.

@havrhll: Freebirds is quite good.

@thesarahkelly: Freebirds has better salsa than Pancheros, but I still think it’s overrated.

@_alexgookin: Another good opinion on not-burritos.

@thesarahkelly: Freebirds has better salsa than Pancheros, but I still think it’s overrated.

@thesarahkelly: WE ALREADY DISQUALIFIED TORCHY’S AND FUZZY’S. But you’re not wrong.

@havrhll: Torchy’s and Fuzzy’s are better than Pancheros.

@bsjames85: As a Texan, tacos are king. That’s where my heart resides.

@havrhll: Qdoba sucks

@tedflintkansas: I had Fuzzy’s recently and was let down. At least I got a cup to take home though.

@arnoldthethird: Qdoba is more than acceptable as a burrito place.

@jaredsmith24: Fuzzy’s is meh.

@thesarahkelly: Qdoba is OK, but I’d rather have Chipotle if I’m going for fast-casual corporate Mexican food.

@janicemorinn: I haven’t touched Chipotle since their poison debacle or whatever it was.

@arnoldthethird: It’s Qdoba and Chipotle, then dirt sandwiches, then Pancheros.

@_alexgookin: How can you not love the soft, warm, fresh tortilla that Pancheros makes, combined with their perfectly seasoned chicken, great queso (THAT CHIPOTLE DOESN’T EVEN OFFER) and mixed together perfectly instead of pockets of rice and disappointment?

@jtthenutt: I don’t like compartments in my burrito.

@tiffanyhurring: What’s that chain with the questionable name in Colorado?

@_AJSPECK_: Illegal Pete’s?

@havrhll: I like Illegal Pete’s, That’s pretty good @_AJSPECK_.

@_AJSPECK_.Pete’s is great for breakfast, meh for everything else.

@thesarahkelly: Uhhh I’m gonna disqualify Illegal Pete’s based on the name because holy shit.

@_AJSPECK_: How is that a bad name?

@tiffanyhurring: YES! I love Illegal Pete’s. It got me through my summer of legal marijuana in Boulder.

@thesarahkelly: Anyone here have a take on Moe’s? I haven’t been able to evaluate it. Don’t care for the commercials, though.

@jaredsmith24: Never heard of Moe’s.

@tiffanyhurring: Moe’s, I will back up whoever just threw Moe’s into the ring.

@bsjames85: Raunchy Tom’s.

@tedflintkansas: Ok, now you are just making up names, right? This doesn’t exist.

@bsjames85: Raunchy Tom’s.

@thesarahkelly: By the way, breakfast burritos are garbage. Long live breakfast tacos.

@_alexgookin: @thesarahkelly is disqualified.

@arnoldthethird: Stop playing with my emotions please, thanks.

@thesarahkelly: By the way, breakfast burritos are garbage. Long live breakfast tacos.

@havrhll: Breakfast tacos are incredible. Chorizo and egg.

@tedflintkansas: BREAKFAST BURRITOS ARE MAN KINDS GREATEST INVENTION!!

@jaredsmith24: Breakfast burritos – garbage? No fucking way.

@thesarahkelly: Breakfast burritos are a bunch of white nonsense.

@jaredsmith24: Breakfast burritos are better than any other time of day burritos.

@tedflintkansas: I want to shake the hand of the man who created breakfast burritos, because he is a saint and deserves a holiday.

@tiffanyhurring: I think we will have one place left and its Chipotle.

@thesarahkelly: Pancheros is already getting excessive emphasis here.

@_alexgookin: Since nobody responded to my ~*sexy*~ Pancheros description, I assume I won.

@_alexgookin: How can you not love the soft, warm, fresh tortilla that Pancheros makes, combined with their perfectly seasoned chicken, great queso (THAT CHIPOTLE DOESN’T EVEN OFFER) and mixed together perfectly instead of pockets of rice and disappointment?

@havrhll: Pancheros is garbage.

@jtthenutt: Can’t say I’ve had a chain one.

@_alexgookin: That’s a nice argument you have going there.

@havrhll: Pancheros is garbage.

@tedflintkansas: Burritos are just burritos. It doesn’t matter where you get them, just make sure you get pinto beans in them. That is my take.

@arnoldthethird: No beans in burritos.

@thesarahkelly: I don’t like beans in my burrito but I feel like it’s a personal choice we’ve all got to make for ourselves.

@reflectivity: What? You guys aren’t about that refried bean life? Duuuuuude.

@thesarahkelly: I am not about that refried bean life, which is another reason tacos are better.

@arnoldthethird: Ugh, I’ve been waiting so long for an excuse to link this to a comment, thank you @thesarahkelly E-40 – “Choices”.

@thesarahkelly: I don’t like beans in my burrito but I feel like it’s a personal choice we’ve all got to make for ourselves.

@thesarahkelly: Well played, @arnoldthethird.

@arnoldthethird: Brb, jamming at my desk.

@jaredsmith24: Those veggies you can add at Pancheros? The GOAT.

@tedflintkansas: Probably doesn’t put beans in chili also.

@arnoldthethird: No beans in burritos.

@thesarahkelly: @janicemorinn Where do the chain burritos come from in Boise? Chipotle?

@janicemorinn: Chipotle, Qdoba, Los Betos (which is the gawd), a bunch of fast food chains, and locally owned places.

@jtthenutt: Now I’m hungry.

@thesarahkelly: Chipotle is the best corporate chain burrito place. It executes better than the others. If you don’t like Chipotle, you probably just don’t like corporate burrito chains — which is fine.

@reflectivity: Los Betos is awesome.

@thesarahkelly: Tell me about Los Betos.

@_alexgookin: See, I don’t hate Chipotle. They are just soooooo meh. I could make a Chipotle burrito at home, no problem. I couldn’t make a Pancheros one. I don’t know how to make great queso and I don’t have a tortilla press.

@thesarahkelly: Chipotle is the best corporate chain burrito place. It executes better than the others. If you don’t like Chipotle, you probably just don’t like corporate burrito chains — which is fine.

@janicemorinn: Los Betos is open 24 hours and it’s the best goddamn close to authentic Mexican food around. Huge portions.

@reflectivity: Chipotle is terrible, btw.

@thesarahkelly: I’ve had Panchero’s many times and it sucks.

@jaredsmith24: Chipotle is so overrated.

@thesarahkelly: I think Chipotle has plenty of detractors and is appropriately rated.

@jaredsmith24: It’s the Notre Dame football of burritos.

@_alexgookin: I can’t match the freshness of Pancheros at home. I just can’t.

@thesarahkelly: Idk, Notre Dame is unranked so that doesn’t sound terribly overrated to me.

@jaredsmith24: If I could, I would steal one of those tortilla presses.

@thesarahkelly: Another shitty thing about Pancheros: their tortillas are never cooked all the way through.

@jaredsmith24: If you get a rookie burrito maker yes.

@_alexgookin: Well then I see our problem here. You don’t like good burrito shells.

@tiffanyhurring: I don’t even hate Pancheros, I just always make the counterargument because I think @_alexgookin is sexy when he’s mad.

@thesarahkelly: Everything at Pancheros is underseasoned and too salty.

@arnoldthethird: Me too.

@tiffanyhurring: I don’t even hate Pancheros, I just always make the counterargument because I think @_alexgookin is sexy when he’s mad.

@tedflintkansas: Don’t tell him that @tiffanyhurring or he will send a #belfie to us all.

@thesarahkelly: Gookin IS sexy when he’s mad, but this is bigger than that.

@_alexgookin: #SexyMad

 

@arnoldthethird: Oh, my. STOP DISTRACTING ME! Pretty sure that’s Zoe Kravitz.

@tedflintkansas: Is that a Carl’s Jr. advertisement?

@_alexgookin: BURRITOS, @tedflintkansas!

@jaredsmith24: The only thing I would say negative about Panchero’s is yes they could add some seasoning to their chicken. People just think Chipotle is good because it has fancy signage, but all it does is disguise its overratedness.

@thesarahkelly: Probably the worst thing about Pancheros and Freebirds is the way local people get all in your face about them when you move to that region.

@thesarahkelly: Chipotle is appropriately rated as mediocre.

@reflectivity: See this is how I felt when chipotle finally got to Boise. The hype was insane and I was so disappointed by this log of rice and bland chicken.

@thesarahkelly: Oh yeah, @reflectivity, I bet it’s a lot like that when Chipotle comes in late to new locations.

@arnoldthethird: As the prophet E-40 told us, everybody got choices. AND PANCHEROS IS THE WRONG FUCKING CHOICE!

@_alexgookin: NOPE!

@arnoldthethird: As the prophet E-40 told us, everybody got choices. AND PANCHEROS IS THE WRONG FUCKING CHOICE!

@arnoldthethird: What are your feelings on Qdoba @reflectivity?

@arnoldthethird: YEP.

@_alexgookin: NOPE!

@tedflintkansas: I mean I love a good, big burrito but if you want to go smaller, the meat and potato burrito from Taco John’s is the best.

@reflectivity: Totally meh on Qdoba. I know I’ve had it, but don’t remember it much.

@_alexgookin: Oh, Taco John’s’ crunchy chicken potato burrito is pretty bae.

@jaredsmith24: Da fuq?

@tedflintkansas: I mean I love a good, big burrito but if you want to go smaller, the meat and potato burrito from Taco John’s is the best.

@thesarahkelly: Tacos are the perfect food and burritos are just eight pounds of tortilla wrapped around three pounds of rice.

@_alexgookin: Wow, I’m definitely getting a burrito for lunch today. Congrats, guys. You’ve all ruined the burrito chat.

@thesarahkelly: Good. Fuck burritos. And again, breakfast burritos are a bunch of white nonsense.

@alangrayhawk: Burritos are drunk friendly.

@reflectivity: Make one with Mexican chorizo and eggs. It’s the only legit breakfast burrito.

@thesarahkelly: And again, breakfast burritos are a bunch of white nonsense.

@thesarahkelly: @reflectivity I will grant you that, but… why not just make it a taco?

@tedflintkansas: Ok, everyone prepare you closing arguments, AND GO!

@thesarahkelly: Corporate burrito power rankings: 1. Chipotle. 2. QDoba. 3. Freebirds. 4. Big bag of garbage. 5. Pancheros.

@janicemorinn: Burritos are messy, terrible, so much food mixed together, garbage, garbage, and more garbage. Tacos forever.

@alangrayhawk: If I’m drunk as hell I’m getting a burrito. They give you foil to keep everything nice and tidy, it’s a great drunk food. This conversation more steered towards tacos vs burrito, so I’m giving it to burritos.

@havrhll: Ladies and Gentlemen of the Society, I am here to close my comments by proclaiming that Pancheros sucks, and you should all visit Texas to get a real burrito. I love you all and God Bless America.

@_alexgookin: You’re all wrong.

@reflectivity: A good burrito is art, but a bad one is trash. Chipotle and Qdoba are not good, but will pass for it in an airport sometimes.

@jaredsmith24: So looks like Panchero’s easily won this battle.

@thesarahkelly: Lol that is not how any sane person would interpret it.

@arnoldthethird: The straw man argument of “burritos are not good” cannot take away from the fact that burritos are in fact good. AND that Pancheros has shitty tortillas and shitty ingredients. The evidence points to the fact that Chipotle and Qdoba have superior ingredients and portions. Good day to you all.

@tedflintkansas: Burritos all taste the same.

@tom_danielson: #EndBattle

 

Tom Danielson 67 Articles

Managing Editor

Every family needs an adult figure. That’s Tom’s job on this ship. After graduating from Iowa State University, Tom headed down the ‘failed professional golfer’ career path before heading back to his calling as an engineer in the great white north (Minnesota). He got his start in blogging, and continues to contribute at the critically acclaimed site, Wide Right & Natty Lite.  A student of the ‘you can’t fail if you don’t try’ philosophy, there’s no better way to describe Tom than a ‘Jack of all trades, master of none’.

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